International Travel: The Generics, Part III
The Chameleon Operation
Travel Manners: The Perks of Being a Chameleon
I
debated writing this section for a while now, even though it was the first real
tip I have and hold dear when it comes to travelling abroad. But after going
back and forth over the pros and cons of putting this out there, I’ve decided
to buckle down, bite the bullet and go ahead.
For
this to work, first I have a story to tell you.
Story Time
In
2010, during the trip to Europe my friends and I took we went to France. Now in
France, there were three things we had to see: The Eiffel Tower, the Louvre,
and Notre Dame. Anything else was just icing on the cake.
The
day we visited Notre Dame we all put on our “Cathedral Clothes”, which pretty
much meant the same clothing we usually wore, just no open shoulder tops.
Having the only “purse” on the trip because I had to keep my medicine with me
at all times, I also tied a scarf around my purse strap in case one of us
didn’t pass muster at the front door.
 |
| Me, in blue dress ensemble with my friend, Melanie: Notre Dame, Paris 2010 |
But
Notre Dame didn’t have the same rules that other cathedrals had, and we found
ourselves dressed very well and with no complaints from any ushers, security
guards, or scandalized old ladies. I had chosen one of my staple dresses for
the visit, as well as a shrug—On the road, dresses that are made for wear and
tear from Eddie Bauer or other sporting goods stores can work wonders, and can be used for both semi-formal occasions and sightseeing. Some clothing even has UPF built in, for pale people like me. I especially like this year's skirt/dress convertible by Travex, since it already has two different outfits in one without having to add a thing:
But I apologize. Back to my story: So here I was in Notre Dame Cathedral, and it dawned
on me that I had yet to get my mother a meaningful souvenir. I had always
planned on getting her one in Paris, because she was a French teacher before I
was born and had studied in Grenoble for a summer during her college years. My
mother also collects Christmas ornaments, and wouldn’t you know: There, on a
stand, were hand-stitched Christmas ornaments in various shapes with the
lettering “NOTRE DAME” embroidered on them. I chose a dark red velvet cross
with gold thread embossing, some colorful bead accents, and antique gold
lettering.
Then
I got in line, and had to brace myself. My own mother, lover of all things
Française, had warned me “don’t let the Parisians spoil Paris” and I was
getting an earful from the lady behind the counter, speaking to some American
tourists in front of me. To this day I don’t know what the American woman was
trying to buy, but I will never forget the sound of “Thirty-five Euros!” said in
the tones favored by middle-school lunch ladies dishing out beef and potatoes
on a bad day. Eventually the woman paid and left, and I was face to face with
the “Angry French Lunch Lady” behind the counter.
But
along with three years of high school French that never seemed to stick when I
needed it for tests, I had grasped a great deal of French manners and culture.
I braced myself, smiled, and to my complete surprise said in a passable accent:
“Combien de?” holding up the ornament.
If
the sun could have shined a single ray upon the souvenir stand and if happy
little birds were allowed inside the cathedral, I’m sure they would have
appeared. The “Angry French Lunch Lady” looked at me, and her face nearly split
with her smile. Her eyes got soft, and she replied “dix Euro” holding up her
hands for emphasis. I kept smiling and said “Oui. Pour ma mere.” And put the
ornament on the desk. She kept smiling and was downright chipper as she rung me
up.
I
started relaxing. I mean, she wasn’t so bad, right? I had obviously done the
right thing. It was truly amazing what a little attempt at the French language
could do in France. I gave her my money and said “merci,” and she stopped for a
moment and looked at me. It dawned on me that I must have done something wrong,
but what? I was about ready for scary lunch lady mode again but she just shook
her head, wrapped the cross and handed it to me with a “merci” which I
returned. Then I beat a hasty retreat back to my friends.
I’ve
told this story to plenty of people, more as a lesson in what a little language
knowledge and cultural courtesy can do for travellers abroad. But the only clue
I got as to what made the woman give me that second glance was from my mother,
who explained that from the pictures she saw I was looking very European: hair pulled back, dress, nice shrug. There was no way my accent was Parisian, but given
all the other clues she had, the woman behind the counter probably assumed I
was a tourist or exchange student from somewhere else in Europe, maybe Belgium
or even Germany. My slip up may have given me away as American, but by that
time I had proven to be polite and courteous, so I was saved the attitude I saw
with the woman before me.
When you travel abroad, you have to look at the Big Picture. This may include some homework on your part, so we’ll start with the most basic lesson and work our way up.
Lesson 1: The Globe
 |
| NOT the Entire Known World |
When
all of the landmasses were finally discovered to be on a circular sort of orb
that actually could be navigated without falling off the edge of the world into
an abyss, it was a happy day for many trading companies and adventurers. And
when all these new places were found on this great circle and put in place,
they were immediately flattened out again and put on paper. The idea of this
radical move was to provide knowledge about other lands and how to get
there—preferably to make money, escape bad fortune, and perhaps found a penal
colony that would one day become it’s own country (See
Australia) or perhaps a bastion of
Southern Charm that houses some of the most beautiful homes you will find (see
the State of Georgia).
 |
| The Entire Known World: Notice the difference in sizes, shapes, and colors. |
As
you can see, the world is bigger than most Americans would like to believe. A
running international commentary on Americans is that “Americans don’t even
know there ARE other countries outside their borders.” Now, the average
American would deny this—after all, where would immigrants come from if we
didn’t have other countries? But then again, I once asked a waitress at
Applebee’s if there actually was an American Civil War or not, and she DIDN’T
KNOW FOR SURE EITHER WAY.
So,
maybe we get immigrants from outer space, and the reason they all come here is
because we’re the only country on the planet.
That, and the armies of the American North and South sat
down for tea and crumpets one day and settled their differences over a game of
go-fish.
Right.
Well, back to the real world: We are not alone. And the best part is, while our
neighbors aren’t always friendly, we can visit them without a space suit. In
fact, most of us came from abroad: That’s right, friends; to steal a quote from
Tolkien most of us who were around from the beginning of this great experiment
in democracy are descended from “the lesser sons of greater houses.” Anyone
with any money or land stayed at home in England—the second born were the ones
willing to risk life and limb for land in the New World.
In
fact, before America was even thought of as America, we were at the mercy of
other countries. Places we no longer count other than for tourist purposes or
in history books came ashore with demands and business ventures, walked the
streets with the aristocracy of the Colonies, and were seen and heard by all.
Did you know that before Holland exported cute wooden shoes they brought the
first slaves to America and had the most feared navy of the European theater?
Must have been hidden behind the tulips and the windmills.
The Second Lesson: Know Before You Go
As
dry as most people find history and research with all those numbers and facts
and figures, knowing the place your visiting—even a little of it’s past, and
especially it’s customs—helps a smart traveller stay off the radar. If you stay
off the radar, you will never find an end to the wonders a new place can bring.
It also helps get you in the mindset of the people you’ll be mingling with, and
give you great financial advice along the way.
Tipping:
In most European countries, tip is included in your meal: It will be under
“service charge” on the bill.
Seating:
When you go abroad you will find lovely café’s with scenic views of rosy plazas
painted in sunset hues, maybe even a fountain of some long-dead hero or martyr
artistically arranged in all it’s oxidized glory. What you may not see is the
fine print that states: Patio seating, X Euro’s additional fee. If you’re on a
budget, these little things can really add up—and you can see the sunset for
free if you take a walk.
Water:
In Europe, water is NEVER complimentary unless you are either on a tour, or at
a five-star restaurant. You will also be asked if you would like sparkling or
regular water in most places, especially sit-down eateries with things like
table cloths and napkins. It will make you feel cheap, but check the pricing on
bottled water versus tap water. There will be a difference, and in some cases
buying bottled water will be cheaper than getting a pitcher of water, despite
the packaging cost.
Transportation:
A huge chunk of your change will go to transportation despite your best
efforts, but that chunk can be reduced by at least fifty dollars in three days
if you know your country’s attractions and public walkways. Try to use things
like the Tube in England only for long journeys—British currency exchange is usually
floating somewhere around 3-5 American dollars to a single Pound. A bus trip of
ten minutes from Victoria Station to Westminster Abbey will cost you at least
1.50 quid, which can cost YOU up to three American greenbacks. For ten minutes?
Save it for the admission price.
Maps:
Do not fear the map. Especially if you’re in Europe, and your chances of
translation are high, the map is your friend. It will help you plan trips in
handy circles so you can save time and money on racing from one side of a city
to another. If you ask at the train station, you can get decent maps for free:
ask nicely, and you may even get a nice customer service rep to point out the
best route to your destination.
Research
Your Attractions: I know, I used the “R” word… Research. But you know what? The
internet can have you done in about fifteen minutes, and with a printer and a
highlighter you can find out all sorts of things like times of operation,
little notices about “CLOSED FOR MAJOR RENOVATION” and even prices for kids and
adults. Some places, like the Vatican, offer nice discounts for pre-ordering
tickets online before you arrive. Look into tourist packages as well: some will
be amazing and worth every dime, like the Venice pass, which really was a
complete steal. Others will be a total rip-off unless you never sleep and resolve
to start your day at five am, like the Amsterdam pass.
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